Services, classes, events, information and more is available to fathers who want to be more active and involved in their children’s lives. Click here for groups, classes, activities, and other current events or services for fathers, children, and families.

More Services and Links

The Eastern Iowa Alliance for Fatherhood and Children is dedicated to providing help, support, guidance and information to fathers who want to become more involved dads to and for their children.  In addition to the local and regional services outlined on this website, we’ll try to always give you helpful hints, education, information and suggestions for your journey to becoming a true dad.

What's New for Fathers:

 

 

Now Be A Dad  is the name or our local fatherhood program, and the National Fatherhood Initiative (NFI) has launched a new campaign called Be a Dad.  Their goal, as well as ours, is to inspire dads to be involved in their children’s lives.  Simply Be a Dad. Read a book. Play catch. Take a walk together. Your presence makes all the difference in the world.

 

Here is another “Be A Dad” tip.  For additional help or resources locally, just click the "Help to be a Dad" tab or the “How Can We Help?” button at the top of your screen, or call us toll free at 1-877-976-3237.

Be A Dad: Tip 4 - Discipline with Love

All children need guidance and discipline, not as punishment, but to set reasonable limits.  Remind your children of the consequences of their actions and provide meaningful rewards for desirable behavior.  Fathers who discipline in a calm and fair manner show love for their children.  (Taken from NFI’s best-selling brochure, 10 Ways to Be a Better Dad.)

Here's a couple age-specific suggestions for how you can discipline with love:


For Dads of infants and toddlers:

  • Discipline as a way to protect:  At this age, guidance and discipline are about protecting your little one from hurting themselves.  Say “no” firmly, but not harshly, when your child does something dangerous and move him or her away from the object or area immediately.
  • Consistency is important:  Be consistent with enforcing the boundaries you set in your home – inconsistency will confuse your child and give him the “ok” to push the limits if he thinks he can get away with it.  

For Dads of school-aged children:

 

  • Discipline as a way to nurture:  As your child gets older, he or she can understand moral principles and you can begin to use discipline and guidance to help him or her learn that certain behaviors are not only unsafe but unacceptable.  When your child does something inappropriate, talk with him or gently about why the behavior was wrong – explain how it hurt other people, or is rude.  

Take a break if you’re frustrated:  The old trick your mom taught you to count to 10 before you speak can actually be helpful if you find yourself losing patience with your child.  Never discipline out of anger.  If you are frustrated, tell your child that you will talk with him or her later after you’ve had some time to think about an appropriate way to respond to his wrong behavior.  Take a walk, read a book, do something else to calm yourself down.  Then go back to your child and

 

calmly discuss

  • Make the discipline fit the child:  Different child will respond to different approaches of discipline.  One of your children might learn better through being deprived of a privilege (such as watching TV or a favorite toy); another child might respond more to being sent to his or her room or having to do extra chores.

For Dads of teenagers:

  • Discipline as a way to guide:  At this point, your teen is becoming an adult and wants to be treated as such.  But, he or she is still going to make mistakes and some unwise decisions and still needs your guidance.  You still need to be your teen’s parent, not best friend, and that means setting rules to help your teen make good decisions and firmly enforcing consequences when those rules are violated.  

  • Let them make mistakes:  While your teen still needs to honor your family’s rules, giving your teen the freedom to make their own choices can be a valuable learning experience.  Yes, they’ll make mistakes and experience the consequences of those.  But you are there to help them navigate those situations.  Always make sure your words and actions communicate to your teen that you will always love them even if they make mistakes.  

Discovering What Kids Need to Succeed

Search Institute® is an independent, nonprofit, nonsectarian organization committed to helping create healthy communities for every young person. Part of their mission is to provide resources to promote healthy children, youth, and communities.

Search Institute has identified the following building blocks of healthy development—known as Developmental Assets—that help children and youth grow up healthy, caring, and responsible.
40 Developmental Assets for Early Childhood
40 Developmental Assets for Children Grades K–3
40 Developmental Assets for Middle Childhood
40 Developmental Assets for Adolescents

Father-Child Interaction

Not so new, but according to Iowa State University Extension, research tells us that children with active fathers receive benefits that kids without involved fathers don't get.  They are healthier, get along better with peers, do better in school, have better problem solving skills, and many other attributes.

Involved dads provide physical care, such as feeding, bathing, clothing, and general care.  They take children to doctor appointments, daycare, school conferences, etc.  Involved dads play and interact in ways that show love and limits to their children.  They know their child's likes, dislikes, and routines.  Active dads know the important people in their child's life like friends, teachers, and coaches.

Here are some tips from the Parents as Teachers (PAT) Focus on Fathering curriculum to help fathers interact with their children:

  • Consider the age and developmental stage of the child.  What is fun for one age may be too advanced or too simple at another age.
  • Try to be patient and look at the experience form the child's perspective.  Young children enjoy and require repetition.  Going to favorite places again and again may feel mundane to adults, but may be just what the child needs.
  • Listen to and observe your child.  When playing, follow your child's lead.
  • A routine activity or errand can be exciting for your child.  Washing the car together or making a trip to the store is an outing for a young child if their father's attention is focused on the child, not the task.
  • Plan quiet times during the activity.  Children who are over-stimulated have trouble controlling their behavior.

Here are some ideas for places to take your child:

  • The public library has a wealth of children's books and often has a "story hour."  Children who have fathers that read to them are more likely to enjoy reading themselves.
  • Public parks are fun for young children.  Be sure to play with your child instead of just watching them.
  • Community recreation centers often have free or low cost programs for kids.
  • Kids may enjoy watching planes take off at the local airport.
  • Fire stations sometimes offer tours for kids.
  • A zoo or children's museum can be fun for children of many ages.

Here are some ideas for fun at home:

  • Finger paint with pudding or shaving cream. Use a mirror or cookie sheet to spread the slippery stuff on.
  • Cook together. Keep it simple and safe.
  • Play with "play dough." You can even find recipes to make your own.
  • Watch cartoons or your child's favorite show together.
  • Color or draw together.
  • Blow bubbles together.
  • Plant a garden or small plant that you can keep inside and nuture.
  • Go swimming in a wadding pool, "splash-pad", or backyard sprinkler.
  • Work on a puzzle together.
  • Build a snowman together.
  • Rake leaves together.
The important thing is to show your child how important they are to you by spending time with them.  The time you invest in them will pay off in the future.  Remember, you are your child's first and most important teacher.


 

 

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